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| The best jokes about women |
Jokes in this category: 48
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| A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. |
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| All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain. |
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| If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day. |
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| If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble) |
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| If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?' |
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| It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together. |
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| Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women. |
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| 'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language. |
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| Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'. |
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| PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse. |
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| The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. |
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| The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'. |
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| The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!' |
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| Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed. |
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| Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip. |
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Jokes in this category: 48
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